The end.

Okay, this is my last post to this blog, I fully feel, that maybe all my ranting and depressiveness might be more appreciated in a more suited blog, so I am therefore making a new one, I don't feel like this fits me now, I feel different...

I'm tired...

I'm sick and tired of being second in your life. I'm your girlfriend! I shouldn't have to make do with texts when you've got nothing else, dealing with the fact you NEVER ring me, knowing that you won't come and see me when I'm ill.

I understand that you have your own life, but picking to do HOMEWORK on a Friday night instead of coming to see me, expecially when you won't see me Saturday because you NEVER see me Saturday anymore, unless your band is off.

I'm second class to your band, to your homework! I see you twice a week and you live down the flipping road! It's only because I drop everything that we ever see each other, I do my homework the night before its due and work seeing my mates around you just so we have a chance to see each other once a week. I'm tired of making the effort all the time, I've tried being supportive and reasonable, but I don't think its working anymore. I'm going to stop making the effort and see if you notice what your missing...if not, then you obviously weren't worth the effort anyway.

Something to think about...

Why...

Why do you always seem so perfect to me when you're really not? You have more flaws than most, but when I see you or talk to you, even if its just a text, it makes it all melt away and I can't remember why you annoyed me.

Why do you make me feel this way? I thought the butterflies would have faded and the nerves would have gone, but just the thought of you brings them all back.

Why don't you ever say anything? Why do you wait till the end of the night to tell me you love me? Why do you never tell me I'm beautiful, apart from one text? Why don't you ever say anything? Is it because you don't feel that way really?

Something to think about....

pfftt..

Try to do something special, but it doesn't work, nice to know someone makes the effort though *rolls eyes*

Something to think about...

A new year..

Wow, everything will change, my world, as I know it, is over...

something to think about...

Why?

Why is it, when hes not there I'm annoyed at him, I don't like the fact he never makes an effort and I hate the fact he's a pretty crap boyfriend, but as soon as he says hello...it all seeps away?
Why can't I hate him?

Something to think about...

How its all changed.

Well, everything changed.
Its all the opposite.
He doesn't text, he won't even talk any more. Is it really worth it?
If i love him so much, why does he hurt me?

Something to think about...

Really?

So, parents are meant to be the ones telling you to get on with work, stay in school, work hard right?

so why is it that my mum and dad are yelling at me that i don't do anything because i'm always doing homework, they acutally have the nerve to turn around and scream at me because i thought doing my geography coursework, which is 25% of my final grade, was more important that taking my dog for a walk, so they have a go at me, when my brother's only reason is that he can't be bothered!

How unfair is that?
Something to think about...

ARGH!

So much crap, so little time.

A little Story...

When I was little my mum always told me to grow up happy. My teacher in school asked my to write an essay about what I wanted to be when I grew up, following my mums advice I wrote 'happy'.

My teacher said I didn't get the task.

I said she didn't get life.

Something to think about...

Normal? HA

Funny how, when one thing finally starts going ok, some other part of your life falls apart. God's nice little way of telling us that life aint fair, cause if it didn't suck, we'd all fall off. :/

Something to think about...

So everything is normal

Normal, a word that nobody can define.
Luckily for me, most of what I'd screwed up is back on track. Only a few injuries left to mend, I just hope I don't pour salt in the wound :s

Something to think about...

:D

There are many sparkles in everyones life, mainly hidden by depression and are not generally clear until your world is in a complete mess, but I've found mine, the little people that can always make me smile, and the closer people who are there no matter what, and there is no way I am going to lose this.

Something to think about...

It's gone.

I think the anger has passed... now its just a pit of upset and disapointment :(

Something to think about...

?

What are you meant to do when you're whole world is turned upside down?
When you're not talking to you friend because shes done something terrible?
When you're pissed at your boyfriend because he lied?
When all you keep thinking about is if you've over reacted?

I know I haven't, if they lied to me once, how can i ever trust them again?
With friends like mine...who needs enemies?

Something to think about...

A little quote that means a lot.

Lets play truth or dare...

on second hand, lets just play dare, because nobody knows how to tell the truth anymore...

Something to think about...

Damn

Just when the pieces are going to fit together someone changes the damn pieces.

:)

There is always someone who is always worth it.

And for me, I would jump in front of a bullet for her or break my ankle in a thousand places just so she wouldn't get hurt, and i never tell her this enough but she is my best friend and i do truely and genuinly love her.

I couldn't ask for a better guardian angle when I asked God, and I know she will always be there for me no matter what happens in my life, she will always be there to look back to and know that, with her, nothing will ever change, and for every moment she's there I want to thank her, and see that she knows she is honestly there for me whenever i need her, and I wouldn't ask her to change for the world.

That to me, is someone worth fighting for, but I hope I never have to.

Something to think about...

Thinking...

Sometimes just one little thing can turn your world upside down, no matter how small of insignificant it is. Anyone ever heard of the chaos theory?

Well so far, my life has been a mixture of all these little things that will soon become one big thing if its not fixed, and the only person that can fix it is the very person im not talking to at the moment because I can't stand liars. So how is it going to work.

If he's meant to be 'the one' surely he would of tried harder? Surely he would of made more of an effort? but then again, if he was the one...maybe he shouldn't of lied...

He says he loves me, but how can I ever trust him again?

Something to think about...

Life's not all bad

I think it's great you know, how even when on my worst days there is always someone who makes me smile, even if its not the person i expected it to be. Even on the crappiest days in my life there is always something that makes me look forward till tomorrow and there is always someone who keeps me going and I understand I shouldn't give up.

There is always someone in everyones life who can make you smile, even on your worst day, and if its not who its meant to be, like a boyfriend or a best friend, but someone in the background, make sure to bring them to the forground, because no matter what happens, if they can make you laugh, or even just smile, they are worth it.

Something to think about...

HA!

Is any of it acutally worth it?

Theres a question for you.

Time has passed...

It's deffinatly been a long time, many things have changed, my life has spiralled out of control lately. There's nothing I can do about it. I've been drowning in thoughts and memories to where my life was better.

The loss of a friend is never easy, even if that friend is a rabbit, and what makes it worse is when the one person you thought would be there for you turns out to be hopeless at comforting. I'm not complaining, I understand, but sometimes a girl just needs a hug.

It's been getting more and more hectic, school is mental, I'm constantly drowning in work although thats all I seem to do, the pile is endless.

My friends have all gone completely crazy and I can't seem to understand half of them anymore. They all have their own agenders and there is only one I can truely count on at the moment not to stab me in the back.

Everything's changed and although its been some epic rollercoster I want to know when it will all end. I like the highs and the lows but I want some time on the straight so I can fix my head before anything mental happens.

I want it all to be the same again...but it never will be.

Long time, no Blog

Wow, its been a while and a lots happened. I keep forgetting about this blog and then i have to write loads to catch back up with my life :/ but im just gonna start here:
Everything has changed.

The courage had g-o-n-e

Isn't it funny, most of life is made up of the tiny little moments, the times your breath is taken away, and the times you look back on and laugh, the times you cry and the times your friends where always there for you. And the moments you always regret are the ones you could of done and you missed your chance.

Today I was all set to ask this lad out, the one I've fancied for months, and I don't see him, hes not online and there is no way on this Earth I can reach him. If it was fate I couldn't ask him, Was it meant to be...?

Love

Does he know I like him?

Day one in this new bloggers life

S'up,
The name is Girl In Her Own World.
The age is personal.
The looks could be better, but you know what? I couldn't be happier.

I might be one of the only people I know who is constantly smiling, but I'm fine with that, there isn't many things that can make me sad.
If you ever see me, I'll have my head in a note pad writing out some random idea that has just hopped into my brain for a story. Either that or laughing at some random joke that really just isn't funny. For example:
Why did the duck cross the road?
He didn't the chicken came along and said "Don't do it mate, you'll never hear the end of it"
Personally I think that is one of the best jokes in the world.

So today is the day I decided to start a blog, and in the blog I will try and tell you about my life, or some jokes I was laughing at, or just what is going through my mind at the time I decide to write.

I feel sorry for you, but I'm usually hopeless at this stuff, Wish me luck and lets see how I get on in my life so far.